You are two. Two years old. For 730 days you have been breathing, and crying, and playing, and living. Oh, dear sweet girl, how you live. You have taught me so much over the last 730 days. You have taught me about joy. You have taught me about pain. You have taught me about what it means to have a piece of your heart living on the outside of your body. You have shown me how to appreciate each little first all over again. You have made me feel more worried, more anxious, and more joyful than any other time in my life. Watching you grow from a calm little infant into the rumbustious and spirited little toddler that you are has completely blown my mind.
The night before you turned two I was an emotional wreck. I'm not sure what it is about two years old that bothers your mama so much. Perhaps it is because I know that this is the year you will start looking less and less like our baby girl and more and more like the toddler you are becoming. Perhaps it's because with each passing day you are growing more and more independent and your need for me to help you in every way is slipping away. Maybe it's because I feel like this last year was a whirlwind and I question how much of it I really got to enjoy and how much I missed because I was just trying to survive. Two is hard. Much harder than one was. As I rocked you and rocked you and we sang Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star over and over again I was overwhelmed by joy, and by sadness, and by absolute gratitude that we have had you for 730 days.
There are rough times ahead. You are already asserting your independence in more ways than your tired mama would like. You are growing into such a strong-willed and determined little girl. This is your greatest asset and with some refining I know it is going to make you a strong and independent woman. You are kind, and you are generous, and you love so openly and honestly that it takes my breath away. My favorite moments are when I am busy doing something or playing with your sister and you run up and wrap your arms around my legs and just hold me. I love that you call everyone "mom" but I am always "Mommy". I love that you wake up and always ask for your sister right away. It cracks me up how you want to smell my coffee each time I make a cup. You make my heart sing. You have brought color and happiness and hope into my life.
730 days. The best 730 days of my whole life. I can't wait to see what this year brings for you.
Happy Birthday sweet girl.
Love,
Your Mama.
